Toughest Mudder Whistler

Toughest Whistler

Five of six down and one to go.  Toughest Whistler kicked my ass.  I don’t know if it was the altitude, the snow still on the course, the rocky trails, the mud trails, the ski jump hill, the cold or the fear of getting mauled by a bear, but Whistler had certainly lived up to its reputation of being one of the most arduous courses of the Tough Mudder Series and just went to the top of my list of being the Toughest Toughest so far.

I left San Diego where I live as early as work would allow and arrived at Vancouver around 7 pm.  I rented a car and drove to Whistler along a series of lakes and snow-capped mountains.  Gorgeous country.  It was still light out at 9:30 when I arrived and registration opened up.   There were noticeably only 1/3 as many entrants than there were at Europe and Northeast and ample room for all in the Pit tent to situate our gear. We were all given a Tough Mudder Orange whistle to wear at all times and warned about bears which I thought was kinda fun.  Heck, I had dealt with crocodiles at NOLA TM and swam in the ocean in California with recent Great White shark sightings so what the heck? 

Melissa "SharkBait" Dugan

Buddies

At the Pit tent I nestled in next to Toughest Mudder Pod Master Will Hicks (World's Toughest Podcast) and Marrissa “Shark Bait” Dugan who along with Jim Campbell and Sarah Knight was also on her fifth Toughest.  The guy to my right was obviously a newbie.  He had enough food, gels and coconut water to feed my family for a week—not that that was a bad thing as I had arrived with very little food and had my precious six-pack of Ensure confiscated at the airport security.  I had three Powerbars, some Powerbar Gummies and enough left over Tailwind from WTM to fill up four small water bottles.  It was stupid planning on my part.  So was putting on a wetsuit because it was cold out and everyone else was doing it.  I’m such a lemming sometimes.

Let’s Do This!

At 11:40 we went to starting line. I knew the drill: Sit and stretch as the rules are read and then stand for the Canadian anthem follwed by the moment of silence to remember the fallen. Sean Corville read the Toughest Pledge and inspired us with his eyes, smile and voice. Coach gave us the last minute of inspiration and we were off.

Go Time

I started up front. Way up front but within seconds a core group of ten shot up the trail like they were doing a 100-yard sprint.  Ridiculous. Paved road led to rocky trail which led to the swamp that Luke Skywalker had to live in with Yoda: Log bridges and slick mud with broken roots resembling Punji sticks.  Fortunately I had a new Black Diamond headlamp on and could see my way this time.  We were told the course would be mostly closed but I wasn’t falling for it.  We got to skip Balls to the Wall, Funky Monky, Hang Time and Augustus Gloop and by then I was so warm I wanted to throw up.  Damn. And then I did.  Double Damn!!

I stopped and peeled off my bib and wetsuit and tossed it off.  Déjà vu all over again.  I got passed by 20 Mudders in the process.  We skipped Black Hole and Stage 5 Clinger.  The trail was rocky but manageable until it became slick mud. Mud Mile was open—or was it?  Throughout the night whenever I came to Mud Mile it seemed that some went through it as they were supposed to and some went around (wussies!!)  It was manageable solo as the water was only shin deep and there were grooves cut through the banks but still it was uncomfortable. Arctic Enema was still closed although I felt I could use it.  Operation was closed (YES!).  Skid Marked was also open about a mile later and I swear a couple inches higher than before.  Pyramid was open also and super slick and I slipped on my face just before the top even with the rope. 

It was about the 35-minute mark when a guy hardly wearing anything named Shaun Stephens-Whale ( who apparently is a running bad ass) and then Ryan Atkins passed me and then I think Austin Azar and Robert Killian and a handful of other fast guys! Oh my God! I thought I was getting lapped already and got both depressed that I was that slow and amazed they were so fast. Shortly after I realized they had gone off course and had been redirected. I don’t know how much time they lost but I could sympathize with them.  At TM Wisconsin last year I had gone off course with Joe Perry and Joel Forsyth and we lost five minutes on the field. It isn’t the time that kills you but the mental anguish. Note to TMHQ: Don’t assume at crossroads in the course the athletes will know which way to go. We are soaked with adrenaline and whacked out to begin with. We need ample signage and orange tape not just on the ground which only works so well.

Next open were Lumberjacked (think high hurdles with three horizontal logs each getting progressively higher) and Everest/Grappler.  Ropes were in place on the Grappler section of Everest and I had discovered that by stepping on the rope while climbing I could make it to the top without slipping.  There was a running penalty for Everest but climbing, slow as it was, was faster than the penalty—as is should be!  Kiss of Mud was open and involved crawling on rocky muddy terrain that just sucked. I can say the same for Shawshanked and Birth Canal.  At other races they had soft mud or grass or carpeting and we were spoiled.  We got steered around Blockness and Kong and lap 1 was done in 50?!  WTF? I thought I went faster and was out of breath and didn’t feel good at all. Would I even go 15 let alone 25? I knew that besting my PR of 30 miles at a Toughest wasn't going to happen. I was still surprisingly warm and skipped the Pit with high hopes of staying dry as long as possible. That wouldn’t last long.

Oh No

I knew at 1 am that all obstacles would be open so I pushed myself a hard as I could to miss as many as possible. No luck. I managed Balls to the Wall and despite the first wheel not rotating on Funky Monkey I was able to grab the other ring next to it and not fail the obstacle.  Yeay for being dry!  A mile later I royally f’d up HangTime by not letting go of the T-bar soon enough and took a back flip into the cold snow run off water.  Now I was completely wet. The penalty was a lousy scramble down and up a mud hill.  Five minutes later I began to shiver just in time for another full soak in Augustus Gloop.   At Stage Five Clinger I managed the Monkey Bars and completed the reach around portion but it was precarious and I wonder how many folks took a digger on it. 

Later that night a new Toughest buddy named Daryl went down hard on it and smartly opted out of another attempt.  There really should be haybales cushioning a potential fall under that thing!  I was cold and all I could think about was getting my wetsuit back on.  I had brought three wetsuits of various types but wanted that full one—NOW! Artic Enema was almost what did me in.   My mind was telling me not to do it but I ignored the warning and slid down the pipe and under the wooden beam as fast as I could.  Hold it together Mark James! 

I opted out of Operation for health reasons and my mission was to get back to Pit as soon as possible and not become a casualty. The next water obstacle was Shawshanked and they hadn’t placed the ropes in the tunnel so it was extra difficult to slide through. The plunge in the water was worse though.  One more water obstacle, Blockness, which I could not do solo this time was unbearable. Fortunately two other Mudders jumped in and we worked together Mudder style and got her done.  At Kong I used the a new technique I had observed others using: Using my arms instead of my hands (which were frozen and beginning to swell).  I worked and soon I was in the Pit and suiting up with a 2mm neoprene top and a 3mm full suit.  I also added some hot water to my Tailwind water bottles which helped warm my core up.  I lost eight minutes but it was worth it.  I had renewed spirits and out the tent I went and into the fray.

Misery Loves Company

Five minutes into my third lap I ran into my TM buddy (Seattle, Colorado, WTM) and fellow San Diegoan PJ who always wears the same shorts sporting the colors of Italy.  He is a fun guy to run with and was suffering as much as I was.  He had a noticeable gait to his stride and I could tell he was already chafing badly. We would play cat and mouse throughout the night and it was motivating seeing him at crossroads on the course.  I never caught fully back up to him after lap three but it seemed he was always 200 feet ahead. I ran with a Canadian Police officer named Daryl for the next two laps. It was good having company as my temperament was not good and I felt physically ill.  Not to mention my right hip was clicking and I was in the hurt locker.  Maybe folks in their 50s shouldn’t do this!

The Blur

The obstacles came and went as did the penalties associated with them.  While I was pleased to conquer the first three Funky Monkeys and Stage Five Clinger, I failed Hang Time every time.  Kong closed down for some reason and I suspect it was either because someone had gotten injured or TMHQ was playing nice and throwing us a bone for having such a hard course.  The gravel mud crawls on at least four of the obstacles only got worse but at least I was warm. I felt a little better after throwing up.  I even was able to recover my neoprene hat at Shawshanked I had lost on lap three and a water bottle of Tailwind I had lost at Funky Monkey that was floating in the water.  At close to 5 am it was daylight which was a boost.   I had completed four laps and knew that another five miles was possible in three hours.  What I had forgotten about was the ski jump hill that we had all seen driving to the race site that we had been warned about and anticipated.

Funky Monky The Revolution

Bull Run

At dawn they had opened the ski jump section which was in the first mile of the course routing us around some of the mud swamp area. Gratefully I knew I would only have to do it once and that was enough. Apparently there is some sick Canadian challenge called something like the “Bull Run” where waves of people try to sprint up the hill for bragging rights.  I climbed up Balls to the Wall which was at the base of the hill and could see Mudders moving ever so slowly up the grade. I would be joining them but unlike most of them had to go on all fours.  It was painfully slow. I hadn’t moved that slow since climbing Mount Blanc last July. Several Mudders passed me by and just when I thought I was done Trevor Cichosz caught up (for the third time of the race) and we chatted until we reached the top.  He is a really nice guy and this wasn’t the first Toughest race where I felt he was more interested in engaging in conversation than racing. 

This pic doesn't do justice to this hill!

Homeward Bound

Joe Perry

Despite throwing up a few more times and limping a bit I was able to amble on. I don’t wear a watch anymore since my Fitbits all broke and my Garmins keep dying on me. I was running solo at this point and concentrating on just getting one foot in front of the other. I finally caught up with the legendary Joe Perry. His face had somehow retained the black paint and orange bear paw scar motif throughout the night although under his wetsuit hood he resembled Darth Maul (who I think he has been before).  I ran in with him and like at Toughest South we had done the entire race apart only to finish the last minute together. At 25 I would stop despite it being 7:20 am—there was no way I could do another lap under two hours. Kong was still closed and I skipped across the finish line relieved. I don’t know who the announcer was but he made us all feel like rock stars announcing our names and where we were from after each lap. Sean and Coach also welcomed us home.

Rush, Recover and Rest

I didn’t rinse off which is kinda gross I guess.  I changed and collected my 25 mile and Whistler Toughest badges and drove in the Canadian light rain back to the airport. I had promised the family I would be home for Fathers Day and I made good on it getting back to San Diego before 4 pm. I’m limping today after tweaking my right hip. My hands are stlll swollen ( so swollen I can't type and had to have my dear wife Tania and my Mudder buddy Whitney Tilson correct all my spelling errors!)—I can’t figure out why that happens ( the hand swelling not the spelling!). I don’t race another Toughest until Midwest in Chicago in late August. I need to recoup and recover and come back healthy and strong for race #6 and then prepare for WTM.  For those considering either, I hope you are training hard but smart. Best advice I can give is to make sure you get in some long 2-3 hour trail runs. Hit the pull-up bar or Monkey Bars at your local kids park. Don’t worry too much about wearing a wetsuit as Chicago will be warm at night. Work on grip strength and start experimenting with foods you want to eat in training now- not at the last minute!  Midwest will be the biggest Toughest yet with over 1000 Mudders on the course.  I can’t wait!

RESULTS ARE IN!  Yeah!

https://results.toughmudder.com/toughmudder/canada-toughest