Trains, Planes and Automobiles
To get to The European Toughest (ETM) was an event in itself. From San Diego, where I reside, I rented a car and drove late afternoon in heavy traffic to LAX. Most sensible world travelers already know this but Do Not get to the airport of an International flight :40 before take off! I seriously almost missed my flight and by divine intervention and Evan the ticketing supervisor at Norwegian airlines taking pity on me (tears help people....so does a gov ID!) I made it on board. A ten hour flight later I was at Gatwick airport in London. The next day I took a bus to Kings Cross and boarded a train to Grantham. Trains, buses and the subway are the only sensible way to travel in London as parking is impossible and owning a car is outlawed. (One of these statements is true). My U.K. Tough Mudder Ambassador "Brother from another mother" Chris James and his Mudder buddy Peter picked me up at the station and some miles later we had arrived at the impressive estate of Belvoir Castle. (Pronounced "Beaver" apparently as not to sound too French!). The race site was thousands of acres of grassy meadows, tons of grass with small lakes and streams and the magnificent Belvoir castle over looking the venue.
The only Easy Toughest was the last one
We were a few Mudders in line behind Da Goat Jim Campbell of course awaiting registration. At 2130 they let us all in and once again I had forgotten to bring that silly Waiver that promises TM your first born and that you must get a Tough Mudder Tattoo on your forehead within a year! (Aha! You didn't read it before signing either did you ?!") An enormous tent was set up for pitting and was more than adequately designed to serve as not only the staging area for 900 plus registered ETMers, but also as a spectator area and cooking station complete with Microwaves and hot water. It was well lit and provided shelter from the impending rain that was forecast. The scene was reminiscent of a large rummage sale where everyone was displaying their goods for sale on tables. I brought an assortment of foods (sadly excluding my favorite Ensure drink I couldn't find in the U.K.) I had bagels, bananas and two cans of easy to open chicken noodle soup. Two bottles of water, two bottles of 12oz Diet Coke, a Camel Pak pre filled with Tailwind sports drink and a bottle of Lucozade (the U.K. Equivalent of Gatorade). It didn't seem like enough compared to others but I was still full from a huge lunch.
At 1115 we were ordered out of the tent and out to a pre staging area where we pseudo honored the brave Pitt crew members and minutes later was a 200 yard warm up jaunt to the official starting line. Mudders were already jostling for position with 40 minutes to go as if the race would start early. I knew by now that wasn't gong to happen. I sat down up front next to barrier and stretched out as best I could trying to avoid getting stepped on. To my right were 2016 WTM (105 mile ) co team champ Jonathan Albon and runner up at Toughest West Chad Trammell. I knew they would be first and second but not in which order as the Great One Ryan Atkins was off running something like 500 miles of trails in Canada supported by his wife Toughest South and West champ Lyndsi Webster. For the women I figured Sara Knight was a favorite but I had heard that Susanne Kraus and Jonathan's sister Beth were also here so those would also be good match ups. As for my own goals I wanted to surpass my previous Toughest PR of 30 miles and hit 35. Secretly I fantasized about going 45 miles and leading the series and being in contention for that $10000 bonus. I figured it's a flat course how hard could it be?
At 1115 we were ordered out of the tent and out to a pre staging area where we pseudo honored the brave Pitt crew members and minutes later was a 200 yard warm up jaunt to the official starting line. Mudders were already jostling for position with 40 minutes to go as if the race would start early. I knew by now that wasn't gong to happen. I sat down up front next to barrier and stretched out as best I could trying to avoid getting stepped on. To my right were 2016 WTM (105 mile ) co team champ Jonathan Albon and runner up at Toughest West Chad Trammell. I knew they would be first and second but not in which order as the Great One Ryan Atkins was off running something like 500 miles of trails in Canada supported by his wife Toughest South and West champ Lyndsi Webster. For the women I figured Sara Knight was a favorite but I had heard that Susanne Kraus and Jonathan's sister Beth were also here so those would also be good match ups. As for my own goals I wanted to surpass my previous Toughest PR of 30 miles and hit 35. Secretly I fantasized about going 45 miles and leading the series and being in contention for that $10000 bonus. I figured it's a flat course how hard could it be?
There's no such thing as a free lap
Course Director Nolan read through the rules of road in his usual somber tone highlighting the importance of obstacle completion and some imaginary time frames when obstacles would open and closed which I should have paid more attention to as I was fixated on using the same strategy I used at West and South: go hard on first free lap and then take advantage of the free lap at 3:45 which served to get everyone on the second half of the course. What I didn't account for was that this ETM course was basically using the same 5 miles but opening and closing obstacles throughout the night. Hmm! Gotcha! Nolan turned the mic over to U.K. TM Announcer Gil Kolirin. He is the Sean Corville equal in the U.K. and did a fantastic job getting the crowd motivated. He highlighted those that traveled from overseas and those that had trained hard and kidded about those who didn't train a bit and just came out because it sounded like fun. The last group I think were the ones in for the rudest awakening--this they would soon discover wasn't no Tough Mudder!
To wetsuit or not to wetsuit that was the question
It was 40 something degrees out and rain was forecast so I put on a full 3mm wetsuit like most others did. Better to be to warm than too cold. One mile into the race after getting caught up in a race pace far too fast for me I stopped out of breath, hot and bothered and peeled my wetsuit off and ditched it near a course marking. It was a gamble I'd ever see it again. I tried to regroup but my breathing was off and so was my heart rate. It's very hard to focus on an 8 hour race when you are already falling apart in the first 7 minutes! I ambled along and that's when we started hitting the series of water obstacles which had already opened like Pitfall, Quagmire and several stream crossings that impeded our pace greatly and usually involved thick swampy mud for 25 yards before and afterwards. My goal had been to go around :45 for the first lap but even with absence of any major obstacles besides Kiss Of Mud and those aforementioned I was a slow :57.
I tried to pick up my pace but my body wasn't responding. I was like the little train that couldn't and now felt a chill in the air and the realization that ditching my wet suit had not been a wise move. The water pits weren't as fun as the first loop and the realization that the obstacles had officially opened would be dire if I didn't stay warm. Fortunately I was able to retrieve my wetsuit and re-don it in what seemed to take :10! Good thing too as Arctic Enema was exceptionally cold and the wind was starting to pick up. I told myself I'd only have to do that obstacle a couple more times because at the half way mark we would change courses. I was wrong! AE didn't go away! Nor did Everest with its extremely slippery slope and lousy thin rope that took the skin of your hands. Or Birth Canal which will be touted as probably the hardest obstacle at ETM- go figure right? I mean out of 19 TM venues I have never experienced a BC that full of water. It was crushing at one point and the insult of injury was we had to do it twice. I joked that it was in honor of Mothers Day but the bloke next to me didn't laugh. Apparently Mother's Day is celebrated on a different day in the U.K.! Hang Time was next to impossible for me to grip as was Funky Monkey and Kong which meant a douse of water and either a sand bag carry or 1/4 mile extra run. While the course wasn't that hilly there was rolling terrain and the thick grass only worked against you. Operation was a sandbag carry for me once again as I can't do shock and by the second loop I wondered if I would even make it to 20 miles?
I tried to pick up my pace but my body wasn't responding. I was like the little train that couldn't and now felt a chill in the air and the realization that ditching my wet suit had not been a wise move. The water pits weren't as fun as the first loop and the realization that the obstacles had officially opened would be dire if I didn't stay warm. Fortunately I was able to retrieve my wetsuit and re-don it in what seemed to take :10! Good thing too as Arctic Enema was exceptionally cold and the wind was starting to pick up. I told myself I'd only have to do that obstacle a couple more times because at the half way mark we would change courses. I was wrong! AE didn't go away! Nor did Everest with its extremely slippery slope and lousy thin rope that took the skin of your hands. Or Birth Canal which will be touted as probably the hardest obstacle at ETM- go figure right? I mean out of 19 TM venues I have never experienced a BC that full of water. It was crushing at one point and the insult of injury was we had to do it twice. I joked that it was in honor of Mothers Day but the bloke next to me didn't laugh. Apparently Mother's Day is celebrated on a different day in the U.K.! Hang Time was next to impossible for me to grip as was Funky Monkey and Kong which meant a douse of water and either a sand bag carry or 1/4 mile extra run. While the course wasn't that hilly there was rolling terrain and the thick grass only worked against you. Operation was a sandbag carry for me once again as I can't do shock and by the second loop I wondered if I would even make it to 20 miles?
Dig deep
I had the privilege of meeting Galen Rupp the Olympic medalist a couple years ago and he made the simple comparison to Special Warfare operators and Olympic athletes. On the day of a vital mission or competition each cannot afford an "off day". You simply must perform and stay in the game or perish or lose the race. While I was no longer in the service and not an Olympic athlete I appreciated this analogy and applied it to my current situation. Tapping into all my usual mantras and then some I self talked to keep going. I couldn't believe I was having so many issues and then when I finally pitted after my third loop I could see I wasn't the only one. Inside the tent were a lot of Mudders trying to warm up and get back into the fight. Many looked defeated, shell shocked and some were packing up to leave before day break. So I wasn't the only one suffering. We all were even the top dogs off the front that were about to lap me once again! I cracked opened a can of soup and chugged it down cold. I followed that with a squeeze bag of baby food ( peas and carrots), switched my headlamp which had just died ( don't use a rechargeable headlamp!) and sauntered out the door. I was going to get 25 come hell or high water.
Just... keep ..... going
Lap four I really expected the route to change but it didn't. Once again I was doing the same obstacles as the past two and it was disheartening. My grip strength was toast and by now I had acquired a layer of mud slime that not even Augustus Gloop could rinse away. Back Stabbber ( pleasantly absent at Toughest West and South) was a real pain. As usual the pegs barely fit in the holes and I watched as several Mudders slipped and had to restart. Fortunately it wasn't a must complete obstacle and you could do a penalty lap instead. It started raining which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I still had on my wetsuit and neoprene hood. Nothing was as cold as AE which itself got a tad warmer as the ice melted and they didn't replenish it.
Just before 0500 the sky grew lighter and I didn't have to rely on the head lamp any more. It gave me a good boost of energy and reminded me of how glorious the sun rise was at WTM. Once again I did Blockness solo which I found unusual because I knew there were so many Mudders on the course. Mud Mile was also doable solo as the Mudders from Saturday morning had done a great job of carving out trenches in the mounds like Toughest West. I fell off Kong once again took my penalty sand bag carry and went into the pit for one more time. This time there were even more people inside but at least the mood had change for the better. Mudders despite hitting minimal miles were smiling and soaking in the experience. Perhaps they were all on a Mudders High or elated that it was almost over regardless it was refreshing to see. I high fived Jim Campbell who encouraged me to go get in another lap grabbed my Camel Pak, took one more swig of Coke and out I went again.
Just before 0500 the sky grew lighter and I didn't have to rely on the head lamp any more. It gave me a good boost of energy and reminded me of how glorious the sun rise was at WTM. Once again I did Blockness solo which I found unusual because I knew there were so many Mudders on the course. Mud Mile was also doable solo as the Mudders from Saturday morning had done a great job of carving out trenches in the mounds like Toughest West. I fell off Kong once again took my penalty sand bag carry and went into the pit for one more time. This time there were even more people inside but at least the mood had change for the better. Mudders despite hitting minimal miles were smiling and soaking in the experience. Perhaps they were all on a Mudders High or elated that it was almost over regardless it was refreshing to see. I high fived Jim Campbell who encouraged me to go get in another lap grabbed my Camel Pak, took one more swig of Coke and out I went again.
Deja Vu all over again
The first mile of the last loop I was completely alone and I had to wonder if I had gone off course. It wasn't until I failed Everest again that I saw Mudders still on the course. It was around 6am and barring a broken limb I was convinced I would at least get 25 miles in and I was content with that. I took Arctic Enema like a champ and despite failing Funky Monkey once again I was ok with it. Albon lapped me once more and so did Trammell each finishing with 50 and 45 miles respectively. Sarah Knight also sailed past me as did the eventual winner Susanne Kraus who both hit 35 miles. I did my last two penalty laps back to back for Operation and Kong and walked across the finish line at 7:30. Despite the option to go back out I knew there was no way I could do another in under an hour. I had gone 25 and was once again a "contender" for WTM. I spent the rest of the morning soaking in the British sun that had decided to come out and watch some of my new friends finish. Many thanks to those along the way that I chatted with briefly and asked if I was alright. Ha ha--there were moments I probably did not look so good. Many thanks to the many volunteers--some of which appeared as muddy as us and the medical crew.
Last Chimichanga
Chris and Pete dropped me off at Grantham station a good three hours before my train so I ordered food from the stations Starbucks (only because we don't have Starbucks in California). A group of TMHQs came into the station and I chatted mostly incoherently with a couple of them--enough to get them to divulge there will be several more Toughests around the globe next year. I let that soak in as I sprawled out on the Train station bench awaiting my train wondering how Tolstoy died?
Facts and figures
775 started ETM
1 completed 50
2 completed 45
1 completed 40
9 completed 35
52 completed 30
254 completed 25
152 completed 20
199 completed 15
118 completed 10
51 completed 5
130 registered but didn't start
Lastly if you have someone who really wants to do a Tough Mudder or Half Tough Mudder Half they can use the code BRAND222 in the US for %30 off entry. They can use UK222 in the UK and DE222 in Germany!
Lastly if you have someone who really wants to do a Tough Mudder or Half Tough Mudder Half they can use the code BRAND222 in the US for %30 off entry. They can use UK222 in the UK and DE222 in Germany!
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