I ran half a mile from my General Parking spot directly to
the Info tent. Bless the attendant’s
heart for still giving me a Tougher race number that I had spent the extra $30
for which paid off allowing me to charge full speed ahead of the corrals and
the start line with their sheriffs and TMHQ officials enforcing start times. Yep!
So what is it like starting the Tougher wave :30 minutes
after the wave has left? Well it’s much
like doing a Tough Mudder only with a twisted sense of urgency that I could actually
catch up and still win. Yes, I had
illusions that I could pull a Ryan Atkins and make up all that time on folks
like Wesley Kerr. Ha. Not a chance!
The first couple miles of the course were flatter than flat
(a welcomed sight after doing Toughest LA two weeks ago). There were a few scattered mud pits and mud
crawls to slow my 7:30 minute mile pace down.
For the most part the course was very dry sandy trail which occasionally
crossed portions of old forgotten runway or freeway from what seemed like the
1800s. I expected cacti but didn’t see a
single one--only waste level brush stunted by the Arizona climate and
wind.
At mile two, I came upon the familiar Berlin Walls (old-school
style) and then Skid Marked where I started to catch the wave that left before
me. Shortly after was Buddy Carry (I
think Tougher contenders had to actually carry sand bags instead. I would have gladly taken a 25lb sand bag any
day over the 200lb guy I had to carry). Still I scurried on frantically as I saw they
were beginning to remove the ropes off of Pyramid Scheme which I wouldn’t get
to for another mile. Nooo! I don’t care who you are--doing Pyramid
Scheme without the ropes and by yourself is next to impossible. I have done it only once and still have the
scars to prove it!
But alas I got there and the ropes were gone! Insert unhappy emoji! And it was at this point I realized it was
just time to chillax and immerse myself in the true Mudder spirit and work with
others and began assembling mudders into a pyramid of bodies to conquer this
unforgiving obstacle. And this was a good
thing because who was I kidding running at 7:30 pace anyway?
At Everest there were two volunteers at the top helping out
in true Mudder fashion. “You are #
16!” one of them told me as he grabbed
my extended hand and hoisted me over.
For a moment I thought I had actually moved into 16th place. “Yep we are going to help 100 people up and
over Everest before we move on!”
Wow! These guys are what makes
Tough Mudders so awesome.
At the 5 mile mark there was a split for the Half Mudder and
the Full. The latter took us back into
the desert tundra away from Sean’s voice trailing in the distance. I could hear fragments of it: “Your best……make you….better!”
Just like at NOLA last month we Tougher Mudders were
required to complete all obstacles including carrying the 40lb bag of ice to
Arctic Enema. Once again this was a
welcome evolution as it was starting to get Arizona hot. The ice felt soo good on my neck and back as
I half jogged to my favorite obstacle.
The new version is crueler than last years in that you have to fully
submerge twice and do a little breathholding to get under the wire cage and
wood beam.
Mud mile was extra slick and the water truck came by and
gave us a good dousing of water in his mission to keep the trenches full. I had my usual technique of boost a person up
by their foot and then have them in turn
pull me up. Takes some
coordination but I got through it fine.
The mud in Arizona is very unique in that within minutes it dries and
cakes on, giving you a reptilian look.
I even left to the airport without rinsing off (yeah, I know, gross, but
the lines were too long) and it felt as if I were wearing compression socks.
Only they were comprised of those layers of dried caked on mud!
Snot Rocket (formally Augustus Gloop- I wonder if there was
a copyright issue?!) provided a welcomed
shower and when I went though the water was relatively clean and tasted like
pool water. The line wasn’t too bad on
my first lap but two hours later when I came to it again the line was at least
:25 long and I skipped it. Mind you, of course I did feel guilty about skipping!
Stage 5 Clinger was a bruiser this time. I watched the guy in front of me try and do a
back rollover but had his arm placed between his legs and he completely botched
it. I did a monkey bar, half muscle-up
with a wrap my ankle around the 2x6 wood frame and groped and groaned and got
her done.
I knew I was nearing the end of this course and I was
excited to see Mudders I had known from other races and new ones. I always get dismayed when I see a friend on
the course and he tells me it’s his/her first Mudder and when I ask if they
used my Ambassador discount code and they tell me, “No!” (BRAND 222—use it or pass
it on to a first-time Mudder on my behalf.)
Funky Monkey I’ve discovered is the reason my left shoulder
is out of whack. Whenever I make the
transition from the small wheel to the big wheel something clicks. I need to do more pull-ups and Monkey Bar
work…and I should probably run more and drink less wine but that’s another
story.
Kong was the last Chimachunga right after the 10 mile mark
and I was concerned that they had gone back to having the Tougher competitors
lunge further out for that first ring where I slipped at the NOLA venue as I
mentioned in my last post. It was only
after I saw another older guy nail it in front of me that I look the leap and
got it also on my first try. He was a
truer mudder however as he ventured down to do EST which I once again bypassed
for fear of death.
Once again the coveted Tougher Mudder headbands were
noticeably absent. TMHQ is going to be
spending a fortune mailing those things to us.
They should just tell us the cool wristband and Tougher T-shirts all we
get….oh and that first wave start time at 07:45!
I finished and tried to go right into a second lap but had
to wait in the Standby section for at least :20 which was ok as I got to
stretch and soak in Sean’s spiel which I almost know by heart by now. I saw some familiar Legionnaire faces and
few 75 and 50 mile WTM bibs. I wore my 8-hour
bib from Toughest LA (the series I hope to complete all six races in this
year).
My second loop was much more relaxed and I put on my
Ambassador hat and tried to help out wherever I could. Lines got extremely long on Ladder From
Hell, Snot Rocket and Stage 5 Clinger.
I took probably an hour longer on my second lap and had only enough time
to slog down one beer (local brew Deschuth Brewery). I did a deck change at my car and then sat
through the parking lot exit nightmare.
Tough(erest) Mudder Arizona
Grade B- (cuz of parking)
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